The Diary of Verity, Duchess of Touraine
Volume X
This volume contains the notes of Verity, the Duchess of Touraine, as she became a master of the secrets forbidden by the Church of Inner Light. It details her revelation of the nature of Paradox and the Dream, and explains her next steps as a sorceress.
Possession of this tome is worth **** Research Points per session. If delivered to the Church, this tome is worth **** Church Prestige Points.
Hear me, oh seeker into forbidden lore!
My name is Verity Touraine, and in life I was known as the
Duchess of Touraine.
I sacrificed my life to the pursuit of knowledge, out of belief
that truth is a virtue, and wisdom an honorable aspiration.
History will decide if I was a monster or a hero, but the truths I
discover will survive me. These texts contain all that I learned
during my life.
Read them and follow me in my journey through light and
darkness.
I have succeeded! The walls of reality have torn away, and I understand Paradox. Now nothing will limit my dreams.
...
The past three months have consumed me. I have so much to write that I scarcely know where to start. The key came in the form of the Paradox card I obtained from among Anastasia's treasure. For dozens of years, I simply ignored it as I ignored so many cards I knew nothing of. I saw the name again while perusing the records of an ancient astrologer, Asawa Reiko, who focused her extensive expertise upon comprehending the timing of eclipses. Amidst tables and tables of astronomical data, it was nearly a miracle I saw why she cared at all. But when I saw her write about Paradox and the sealing of the Powers, I decided to do more investigation.
Before Paraceln's Dream, of course, the arts I practice were the entitlement of all the nobility. When Paraceln's Dream came, that birthright was stripped away. And yet, there are reports of those who had achieved a similar seal before the Dream, a result of the shattering effects of attunement to the card of Paradox. "Paradox," the scholars wrote, "by its very nature inverts the harmony of reality within its temple. What is open to the Cosmos is sealed by Paradox, and what is sealed can be opened again by Paradox." This passage is what led me to the thought that perhaps I could unseal the "temple" that is my home by finding a way to attune myself to the Paradox card.
...
It took me half a year to find the means of attunement, but the search came at a propitious time. She who seeks to pact with Paradox faces great impediments, for such attunements are dependent upon both the location of attunement and the positions of the bodies of the Cosmos. Physically, the attunement must be made within a "temple", a castle formed from Mourn's bones that can channel the world's essence. Choosing the temple carefully is critical. In the days before Paraceln's Dream, the initiation would seal the temple's magic, rendering it unreachable by the Powers. However, with careful planning this would not always end the temple's utility. The astrologers of the time were able to calculate a time and date when the seal upon a sealed temple would be weakest, allowing another initiate to attune to Paradox and break the seal. I had hoped that this might be the loophole that allowed me to break the seal of Paraceln's Dream.
To this end, I summoned an astrologer to my home and had them analyze what I had learned. I discovered that the right time was a mere month away. I have recorded the necessary equations herein, although I suspect they are only meaningful to a fully-trained astrologer. I simply understand that they require a comprehension of the nature of my birth, my attunement (a matter which puzzled the poor astrologer terribly), and the birth date of the castle itself. This latter piece of information required the assistance of a trained architect to determine, but fortunately Marcel was available to answer my summons.
These are the equations necessary to calculate the Perturbatory Conjunction date for a given attunement in a sealed temple...
...
With the Perturbatory Conjunction date calculated, I was able to use my fledgling knowledge of geomancy to attune a witch crystal to the Castle, providing me with a key to controlling its energies. Using this key on the date of the Perturbatory Conjunction, I simply willed myself attuned to Khepera, the Paradox, and I became attuned.
...
Paradox allows those who bind themselves to it to initiate themselves to their opposite path. However, it is a slow process, and requires that the initiate's attunement to her main path be strong and not completely developed. Each attunement made on the Paradoxical path will diminish the available power on the initiate's main path. Because of this, I will exercise caution when advancing in the path of Paradox. I suspect it will be easy to attempt an attunement I am not ready for, resulting in injury to myself.
...
As I hoped, attunement to the Paradox did allow me to further my initiations, with the assistance of Marcel and a few of my servants who I have primed for this exercise. I think I can now enact the trick Anastasia used to create servants, although I find it abhorrent. Nevertheless, I fear entrusting others with these powers more than I fear the abominations I am creating.
...
I have changed my mind. It is a monstrous thing to go to a woman, even a peasant woman whose life I can immeasurably improve, and cut her child's ties to her. All I could remember when I arrived in the village in disguise was the day I gave birth to Yoin, my pride at holding him, and my grief when he was taken away. I cannot do this. There must be a better way.
...
Have I failed? This morning, I attempted to attune my chambermaid to Mirariel, only to find it blocked completely. I do not understand. I fear I have become violent when faced with frustration.
...
How could I have forgotten? The Dream is only torn for specific periods of time. I will simply have to determine what the period of the rend is. If I am fortunate, it will not be as infrequent as Anastasia Issorat's monthly windows.
...
It appears to be more infrequent than Anastasia Issorat's monthly windows. Am I doomed to failure? I worry that I attuned myself to Paradox twice, sealing the rift. Or something similar. I do not understand, but have chosen to seek other paths for progress instead of simply impatiently waiting.
...
Ryu Komaru has peacefully stepped down as Regent, allowing his son Julien to ascend as Crown Prince of Komaru. It is the 136th year since Paraceln's Dream. I am 59 years old, but my maids still whisper that I look no older than they. I will probably need to give them up as well; while I could fool the others of my family with dyes and makeup, there is little one can truly hide from one's servants.
...
Having attuned myself to Urania and Nephthys through the assistance of the appropriate miko on the day when the Veil was rended, I now find myself considering how to accomplish the appropriate marriages and how to advance my attunements from the Shield of the North. Based on my research, the immediate initiations from the third circle's cardinal paths seem to require the completion of an Ordeal. I will need took into what these Ordeals might be.
...
I have acquired a diary or novel by a man named Cesar Tourneur. While overwritten and sensationalist, it does mention that the next card on the path I am attuned to is the Breath of a Thousand Flames. I have one in my collection. Now I will simply need to learn its name and the means by which I can be attuned to it.
...
Apparently the means to be attuned to the Breath of a Thousand Flames is contained within a lay called "The Star-Thief". I have begun searching for this play, and hope that it will become available to me in the near future. I do not see what a play has to do with attunements, but assume there will be some sort of metaphorical explanation contained within.
...
I attempted to locate Cesar Tourneur, only to discover that he was executed by the Church for published the book I possess. It's quite a shame; I think we might have gotten along well. Marcel has not improved for my company, I fear. Although I am sure he has stopped aging, his spirit is still gone, taken away by the Mer. I wish that there was more I could do for him, but none of the many things I have attempted have succeeded. I miss him.
...
The Mer cut Marcel's bloodlines. I should have guessed; I do not know why I didn't check before. Maybe there is something I can do for him.
...
My experiment did not go as intended, and now Marcel is dead. Urania wears his shape, and while she is very wise and has answered many of my questions, I do not believe that summoning her in this way was the proper thing to have done. I am tempted to banish her, but she is correct - she does hold information that I have no other source for, and she is better company than the Mer-ravaged husk of my once-lover. I believe I will keep her, despite it galling me to do so. She has told me of the Ordeals for attunement to Keika and Neith, the Powers that are proximate to Talitha. Each ordeal is a test for the miko and corresponds to the Power to be attuned. Keika, the Wind Sweeps Candles, is supported by Nephthys, and similarly, Neith, the Weaving Woman, is supported by Urania. Furthermore, each initiation requires the assistance of an actual initiate of the supporting Power as well as its miko. When the miko completes the Ordeal in the presence of the seeker with the aid of the supporter, the seeker will be attuned.
Keika's Ordeal requires the initiate to find a guide through the paths of death. Nephthys no Miko can complete the Ordeal if she touches the follower of Nephthys that is assisting in the initiation. Obviously, this ends on one of two ways: with the death of Nephthys's follower, or with the loss of Nephthys No Miko's status.
Neith's Ordeal requires the initiate to hold the Cosmos in place. Urania no Miko can complete the Ordeal if she has served as such for at least a year, and the locus constellation has not changed for at least a year. Given that Solariel has been the locus constellation as long as I have watched it, this seems very simple.
...
Finally, the rending has opened itself again! It came on my birthday, and I could not have imagined a more welcome present. It seems that once a year I will have the opportunity to advance my art. I could wish for more of an opportunity, but limited success is better than the complete failure I had anticipated to this point. To celebrate, I will put aside this journal and its frustrations in favor of a new beginning.